it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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