I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
