he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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