Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
