i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
