Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
