im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize