he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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