I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
