Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
