Can Purell be used as lube?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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