She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
