I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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