You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
