take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
