I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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