I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
