Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
