I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
