Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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