Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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