10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Randomize