Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
