Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
