For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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