So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
