weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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