'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
