So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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