Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
