His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
