Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm bleeding and have questions
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
