Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
