Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize