so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He kissed a someone with a penis
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
