Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize