Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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