We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It's just like the Real World with babies
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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