im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
