Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
