Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
