Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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