I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
