I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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