Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
