seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
