You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
