am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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