People with herpes should wear stickers.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
