R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
