She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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