What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
