Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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