I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
