i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
