she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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