Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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