susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
