Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
