I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
