guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
