ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
